::Thoughts from Thanksgiving Day::

Thanksgiving Day. My heart is just pressing to say so many things but my mind and fingers are lagging behind. Today I am thankful! The Lord is on my mind; He has ever been the wind in my sails in several “windless” weeks here. He has ever been my strength when I am empty and drained. He has been my refuge in the desert, the Sun in my storms and the whisper at my back. He has given meaning and joy and life. I have seen Him working in ways I would never have imagined and I have seen Him in the details that I would have missed.

 The reality though is that these times have in general not had a feeling or warmth or comfort or spirituality. There have been many silent tears alone in my small apartment. There have been nights and mornings with my 15 boys that have put dread in me to come back to the house the next evening. There have been days when all I felt was failure. There have been tears. But here I am~happy! I am happy to be here, I am happy to be alive, to have shared in the lives of these kids, to have been awaken in the middle of the night to feed bebito, to have toiled in lesson planning, to have put a small seed (Lord willing) into the little lives here. 

I am thankful, for my hard days (sometimes more like weeks). I think God knows that on the other side of those things they give you such perspective. Like I don’t ever want to pretend what someone else is going through. I have no idea, just like it is so hard to explain what life is really like here….I need to realize that about other people’s circumstances.

I am thankful for grieving. Grieving what life is, what life could have been, relationships lost, mistakes made, the difficulty of dreams coming true. That grieving; it extends our hearts if we can keep bitterness out. It makes us softer to other people and I think, softer to the Lord’s voice. It gives the silence that we need to comfort those who are grieving; it gives us the ability to feel the weight of life and the meaning that is here.

 I am thankful for simple two word prayers, when our hearts and heads cannot find anything else. I am so, so thankful we have a God who hears. He really does.

I am thankful for loneliness because it teaches me that only God can fill us, truly fill our longings to belong and be loved and have meaning. It is teaching me to reach out to people who are alone. It is teaching me to have compassion and to be involved in lives.

I am thankful that here I have had some of the most difficult times in my life and I’ve had some of the best times in my life. A journey of a lifetime.

Happy Notes::: I AM SO THANKFUL MY MOM IS HERE :D I love her so deep!

girls' night

I've been moved for a while to the girls' house. I miss the boys; I've been in their house for almost a year now, but I'm so thankful to spend some time with the girls. Pray for their hearts, that these girls would learn (and that I would have the wisdom to teach) what true beauty is~that we together would learn to be lovely from the inside out. That we would discover and understand Who it is that makes us beautiful and learn how we can be truly beautiful in our actions and deeds. Pray that there would be God’s healing as He ministers to us in this house.  My prayer is that the girls would open their hearts to the Lord of power and justice and love for the healing of their hurts, rejections, and fears. 

upheld

Just blessed to be a child of Jesus. To be in His arms, and know that as many times as I fail, trying on my own, He is faithfully teaching me that He is everything and over all authorities in heaven, on earth, and under the earth. I can feel the weight of my busy schedule finally catching up to me. I am often tired and on my nights off it takes me a while to relax into a free night. I'm praising the Lord that mom is here with me, bringing new ideas and energy! The Lord knows us and knows our limitations and meets us when we need help.

!!MY PADRES ARE HERE!!

 Dad driving on his first day here ;)

 Mom and Dad ministering in the house~faithful servants. Love them and their example. 

 Little artists 

heads

...there is no soft way to break it to those of us from America (lice scares us to pieces)..but we have been having our own little usual small epidemic here...I was picking lice out of the little guys hair (the hair clippers are broken) and then little D wanted to check mine...after looking through like a little champ he gleefully informed me that I had lice, and some little black spec that he (somehow) found, AND I had dandruff (thanks to our salt-water showers)!! He proceeded to literally rip out the (lice?) which, upon investigation, was just junks of my hair. After about the third hunk of hair~he was then banned from touching my head ever (not really but it was one of those days)

Wanted to share so that you can form a "picture" of some of our bonding moments ;)

Today We Rejoice for We Know to Whom We Belong

Today at kids' club one of the young workers from Casa (9 years old who helps with the little, little kids) asked me if she could come every week to help. In Spanish she said, "because working with the kids is beautiful"! My response: YEESSS!!!!! Si! I am so blessed to see her young heart giving time to the Lord's work~and wanting to give more. My heart is jumping for joy ;) Also, the older kids, in kids' club, were writing out prayers. One of the boys wrote, "thank you God for being with me and a full life and help me know you more." This coming from a boy who lives in make shift house next to the dump.

 We are just clay jars and will turn into the dust that is so abundant here BUT, inside we have The Treasure and we are Treasured. I long to know that everyone in our small neighborhood hears the clear, life-giving Gospel. Please pray along with our little ministry team for a harvest of souls.

a long week

This last week i was, pushed once, confronted twice (face-to-face) and disrespected and disobeyed uncountable times...AND I am well and good~Praises to the Giver...after the worst two day I prayed and prayed and God gave me heart-healing devotionals and Bible verses. The verses would come to mind one after the other just in a steady stream of reminders of how Great Our God Is (thanks to my mother who had us learn verses and AWANA!)

Reality is that I was at the end of my rope and just prayed, "Lord I have failed at this and I'm okay with failing" and God continues to break me down and remind me that in my weakness He is ever stronger. Also, through a devotional I was reminded that it isn't the processes and routines of life that are most important. Routines become excessively important when taking care of 13 (getting the kids to bed, getting everyone in uniforms and fed in the morning, keeping peace, making special things, having talks, doing night time devotions with the kids, cleaning the kitchen, making breakfast, etc) BUT, it is Jesus and the time I give to Him that is MOST important. I have been missing the mark. Thank the Lord that He is loving in His corrections. 

morning reading

Proverbs 23:9-11
Don't waste your breath on fools, for they will despise the wisest advice. Don't cheat your neighbor by moving the ancient boundary markers; don't take the land of defenseless orphans. For their REDEEMER is STRONG; He Himself will bring their charges against you. 

Good News!

Just wanted to share with you, loved readers, about an adoption that just went through!! Five siblings have been waiting over a year to go through the adoption process to be adopted by a loving family they know.We are so excited that the papers have gone through and they are on there way. Still waiting on a few more small things but nothing major. Praising Jesus with the kids and their new family!  :D We are all so excited and happy for them~God is Good and moves in Love.

Cute stuff from life

Primavera

Spring Celebration with the Kids :D

 a Peruvian organization came an put on a party for spring

 some very entertaining games!!

 Sister Love

 Bub!

 they had a dance-off (that i may or may not have been wrangled into!)

 winners!! (yes i had to take second place~gotta hone the skillZ) ;)

 sisters

 Buds 

 someone isn't sharing... ..

 <3

 waiting for more games to begin~i just though the hat was so cute!

 eating strawberries? or something up that alley 

puppet for a prize 

As the band plays:

“When the Roll is Called Up Yonder,” by James M. Black, is being played in town somewhere. From the sound of the band, it must be a funeral.  Reminding me that someday we will be with Jesus, either in death or after being snatched up (so simple but so easily lost in the ruckus of life).

If not moved already, doubling moving, I am listening to, “Live Dead” by Dick Brogden on the internet.  He is compelling his listeners to share Christ, share the Gospel, with those who have never heard.  Some of the children here at the orphanage are from the mountains...I asked them if they had ever heard about Jesus before they came to Casa.  “No, no,” they say, “we didn’t know about Jesus before here.”  They tell me that there was a church there, but they were never told about Jesus. 

 

Music floats to me from the cemetery, “Let us talk of all His wondrous love and care,” and Dick Brogden is asking me from the internet, “Are you living dead?  Are you taking His message to the unreached?”  ...to die to our small desires...to live dead in His great Plan-life to the full! To die to self...so that others can hear their name when the roll is called up yonder. 

~Dear Jesus, please more of Your Spirit in our lives so that we can be true followers and right representations of You here. 

hot chocolate and movie night

Today's Realizations

Just today I was thinking about how I cross the great Pan American Highway every time I walk to my little favorite grocery story (of course I had to facebook status it too ;) ) Anyway, pondering how big that highway is literally as a road but also how it must have so changed the scope of things here in Peru. How big it must have been in the movement of connecting people and merchandise; making it feasible to travel and see the world outside of where a person grew up. How that highway must have completely changed things here in little Pacasmayo too. Then I started thinking about my little store that I go to and how it is almost nothing compared to ALL the many little stores we have here and how that huge highway and that little store are right next to each other, the irony, greatness and smallness connected. Reminds me of God's plan, like the great highway...it's life changing and huge and we have no idea exactly what is all going on but we know it's BIG and we want to be connected with that...and our lives and what we do is so small, nothingness, we are just dust, but we can be CONNECTED to Him through Jesus. We can be part of His great things like the little store along the Pan American.

from July: Marching~it's a big deal here for schools ;)

Getting Ready!

 The Marching Begins

Jesus' Bosom

Somedays it seems that everything is spinning out of control. Everything is too big and all the time and effort and emotions put in don't seem to make a difference.... on these mornings I imagine my head bent and resting against Jesus' bosom yielding to His care and sovereignty.

Yesterday one of the older girls was suicidal and took about 30 pills. She was rushed to the doctors when everything was uncovered. She is home and seems to be healthy without any visible repercussions. Also, this morning the day mom and I were discussing issues we have been having in the house. And I'm reminded that every child is healing or needing to heal from abuse and rejection. Side issue: In talking it came out that she believes that salvation is dependent on behaviors and tries to use this to keep kids from misbehaving....Thankfully we have had some really good theology conversations in the house and many of the older boys read their Bibles regularly. And all these things we leave in His almighty Hands knowing that He sees and cares.

New House

We moved into a new "house" (more like apartment: three rooms for the boys, one room for me and the babies, two bathrooms, a kitchen, and living room area) Moving day was a little wild with 1/2 of our things in the new house and 1/2 in the old but it's a blessing to be there and have new couches, our new stove with us, and new paint of the walls. Now the girls can divide into two houses and give some over-due room to the 23 some odd girls who have been living in ONE house!!! Zeb did a lot of work in the new house while he was here~thank you BUD!

 D-man in the hall 

 hands & feet

 And there was light...or i mean yellow...

 checkin the new bathrooms with Tonkers

Fanagling the door, Tonkers "helping" of course ;)